Resolutions for parents:
Working with schools for the right IEP program
Long before Sarah Palin began using the word “Mama Grizzlies”, Momma Bears and Poppa Bears have been getting mad as hell when protecting their young. It is a trait so innate in us animals-as-human-parents that it can become a chief weakness when working on resolution with a school district. When a perceived potential of harm or injustice to one of our beloved children has awakened our parental instincts, being kind can feel like working against nature. This feeling of “kind” restraint can be emoted in a number of individual ways—for me it often presents itself in tears out of frustration and intensity.
Any school district has several agendas. One of which is to teach your child in a responsible and caring way, preferably with warmth, critical thinking and creativity. Your child is among one student of 5-50 for the Special Education case manager (depending upon a variety of factors), and one of 50-200 for related service providers like Speech and OT. If your child is in a general education classroom, he/she may be one of 20-40 students in elementary and 60-250 students in secondary classroom relationships. If your child is included in elective or “specials” classes, he also is one of every student in the school; this is the same for the administrators and other auxiliary staff. This scenario is a demonstrated example of what might be your child’s Special Education program and what it might look like through sheer numbers. A glimpse of what your child’s education looks like at a building level.
The school district your child is enrolled in is a business. As with any business, there is a necessity for economic decisions, prioritizing and maintaining sustainability. If we were to expand your child’s IEP program to a scope beyond the building level and look at the next several layers of Special Education coaches, administrators and district level administrators; we would see the numbers growing from 1 out of 20 to 1 child out 15,000 as a school district student.
As a parent, it can be helpful to recognize that a school is a business that almost feels trustworthy-personal when it is going well. When things go not-so-well or bad, it feels so painfully personal that it can be difficult to make yourself feel heard and find a path to what feels like a just resolution. It is also helpful to be cognizant of the idea that school district staff are probably not feeling personal (because it is a business) until they feel attacked. Be as kind as you can, or go away and be silent for a while. This is the first step, and one of the most difficult—for it becomes a documented process eventually if it isn’t going to get better. This is the step where many families seem to make a big mistake out of sheer lack of knowing options.
Recently a handful of several different families across Northern Colorado school districts have been reported to Indigo Journey Center in Fort Collins as having pulled their child out of school attempting to home-school. These families have all made this decision with varying levels of knowledge about what is available for special needs even after a home-schooling decision. Also, many of these families contacted Indigo Journey Center due to being threatened with truancy charges from the schools. A good question might be why they were not sending their children to school. Unfortunately sometimes parents are uncomfortable with the situation their children will be in during the school day. These reasons vary with every child, but the theme carried through is that they were given the choice to pull out and home-school or be charged with truancy and offered no changes to the program they are uncomfortable with. Some families unknowingly sign away many of their rights in the process while under emotional strain and/or not understanding fully their rights.
Just as important as it is to realize the school is a business with one of its agendas being your child, it is also important to realize you are having a personal perspective with your child being your only agenda regarding this particular situation. One of the most important things to keep in mind immediately during an emotional situation involving your child and the school district is to remain calm and avoid saying anything “mean” or “emotional” to the school district personnel. If you do start to lose your cool, simply apologize and explain that you are emotional and will talk about it later when you are calm.
Dr. Jacque Phillips, Attorney-at-Law, works with schools and parents on legal issues throughout Colorado. She is a teacher, professor across the globe. She provided helpful tips for parents to work with schools and get what is in the best interests of their child.
～If you feed it, it will grow. Do not spend time on the little things. Focus on the issue and the solution only. Make a list of the issues and be specific. Know the outcome you want and be prepared to compromise. Don’t include things like forced apologies, school staff being fired, monetary settlements.
～If they are hungry, they will eat the children. Find the positive things about the school staff and express them. This feeds them. This applies to the negative people because the positive, effective people feed themselves. Bring them muffins on Monday. They will be nice to your child.
～Use the legal system! Get an advocate or (better) an attorney.
-The sad fact is you get the services you are entitled to when you have someone who knows how to navigate the system at meetings with you. Otherwise, you have a group of school folks and then you. If it’s adversarial, parents need help. If it’s not adversarial then there is no issue.
～Don’t use your divorce attorney. Find an attorney who knows education law specifically.
～Find an attorney who will work non-adversarially. This means you don’t need a hired gun mentality. School people work hard and don’t need to be beat up. A collaborative meeting gets better results for your child.
～Sometimes parents are told they can’t get what they want by school people, but sometimes the school people don’t know that parents CAN get what they want. So it’s best to find out before going along with something that’s not right. The Legal Center for People with Disabilities will answer questions for free. Some attorneys provide free consult.
～Ask around to find out who has found an effective attorney.
Steps to take:
Starting with a concern at school:
1) Talk to the teacher first. No resolution?
2) Call a meeting including the principal. No resolution?
3) Call another meeting to include an administrator from the central office. Also, include an attorney or an advocate with a good reputation. No resolution?
4) If this is a special education issue, file a complaint with Colorado Department of Education (CDE). No resolution?
5) If it is a violation of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) then request mediation. Bring an attorney. No resolution?
6) File for Due Process hearing. This is very rare in Colorado. We settle issues before it gets to this, almost always.
7) If this is not a special education issue, follow the first steps but then file with the Office of Civil Rights. They will investigate harassment and 504.
Join the parent organizations! Many provide support. Google PEAK, Parent2parent, Parents Encouraging Parents, Larimer Autism Society. They all have conferences, presentations that can answer your questions.
Jacque.phillips@gmail.com or 970-302-4294
Website: www.jacquephillips.com
